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We do use that phrase a lot, don’t we? “He would have wanted it this way.” When what we really mean is “This is how I want it.” Projecting our own desires onto the dead is one of the basest ploys in our rhetorical arsenal.

That said, of course a lot of the troops — dead and otherwise — enjoyed Memorial Day. Sitting at the beach, grilling in the backyard… it’s a part of Americana, and I’d never try to take it away from anyone.

But still, there’s always got to be some kind of cognizance of what the day is about. Every Memorial Day brings more dead soldiers, sailors, and Marines to eulogize. Garry Trudeau always takes the day before to publish the names of every US serviceman who died during the preceding year. While this may be a little heavy-handed, it does underscore just how dear the cost of this desert misadventure is becoming.

Let’s take this day to remember (over burgers if you wish) and tomorrow recommit ourselves to putting an end to this debacle. It’s true that a whole lot of the fighting men and women over there believe wholeheartedly in what we’re trying to accomplish. It’s bullshit to say that we want to end the war on their behalf. Frankly, I don’t care if opposition to the war makes them happy, as long as it gets them home alive. I’d rather be hated by a living soldier than loved by a dead one.